Joke of the day.

wanderoar:

roseonabeach:

frostedsammy:

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”

“Yes.”
“Oui.”
“Sí.”
“Ja.”

what

Took me about ten minutes to finally understand this

stupidest/most awesome joke ever


tobiaseatonsgirlfriend:

I like how on Tumblr we all have lots of sass but in real life we can’t say hi without fucking up.

excuse you


minxiekitten:

raubbenhood:

Disneyworld needs to make a rollercoaster based off of the ride Yzma and Kronk take to the lair. When the ride starts, Yzma’s voice yells “pull the lever, Kronk!” and the ride starts to move backwards so she yells “wrong lever!” and it shoots you forward.

WHY IS THIS NOT HAPPENING?!


(x)


http://birdcagestyles.tumblr.com/post/83599268465

schmergo:

schmergo:

I want a movie about a guy who runs for president and wins but then suddenly realizes that he doesn’t want to be president, so he just starts doing ridiculous things all the time trying to get impeached, but it NEVER WORKS because they always miraculously end up…


gizmobot:

anemotionallyunstablecreature:

nolightinyourtardisblueeyes:

My mum just referred to Steve Rogers as Mr. America

image

*applause for perfect use of gif*

ah yes, captain mr. america



surprisedbitch:

me trying to flirt

image



rhydonmyhardon:

*dude puts his mouth around his bros dick* bro, im not actually gay unless i suck it. i never sucked it. its a metaphor, see: you put the dick right between your teeth, but you dont blow it. a metaphor bro